Lambiedog

The story's end

Lambie died today, in his family's arms.  [Eulogy]

Holiday roundup

I hope it's not too late for a recap of my holidays.

They were happy.  I spent time with people that I love.

                 

       

Santa brought me a huge furry new bed, which so far I've had no interest in.  Sometimes my family members sit in it if they want to converse with me.

    As for New Year's resolutions: I didn't make any.  Life has been stressful enough recently.  Would it be constructive to place additional expectations upon myself?

More staircases

I need to do some catch-up reporting on my recent activities. Although I was sidetracked for a week with chemo problems, there's still been lots going on.

I'll start with the first weekend in December, when we met Teresa in Echo Park to do Secret Stairs walk #13. It was short and easy.  There weren't a lot of stairs involved, but such staircases as we did encounter were quite elegant.  

Afterward, we went to Dinette, a pleasant outdoor cafe on Sunset Boulevard.

 

(If you've noticed that I am wearing a pink collar in the photos, you may be wondering whether perhaps this is a first signal that I am transitioning.  No -- it signifies only that we left my collar at home and didn't notice until we got to Echo Park.  The local Walgreen's only had cat collars, and pink ones at that -- so I adapted. My temporary garb even came with a delicate bell attached.)

A couple of weeks later we did one of the most challenging walks in the Secret Stairs book:  #29 - the Los Feliz / Griffith Park loop.  We'd been avoiding it, but it was one of the only remaining walks we had not yet checked off.

It turned out to be worth the effort -- and I did put in effort, walking the entire way without once requesting an airlift.  We circled around Frank Lloyd Wright's Ennis house, and walked up the hill to the Griffith Observatory.

    I wore my blue collar this time.

In my next post:  Holiday excitement.

Quality of life

I'm poised to start an oral chemotherapy regime of Chlorambucil (Leukeran) combined with Prednisone.  These are strong drugs.  Just having them in my body is a scary prospect, although the web includes numerous reports from veterinarians attesting that this regime is both effective and generally well-tolerated.

Another element here is also alarming. Chlorambucil, a powerful drug, can actually be carcinogenic to those coming into contact with it incidentally.   Directions for the administration of Chlorambucil caution that it should be handled wearing protective gloves because it can be absorbed through skin contact.  And not only during the direct handling of the medicine: 

Because of the potential for absorption of the drug or its hazardous metabolites through the skin via contact with urine, feces, saliva, vomit, etc., you should wear gloves to clean these up.  Washable items coming in contact with these should be handled wearing gloves (and a protective gown if needed) and then washed twice. Use these precautions for a minimum of 48 hours after the last dose is administered. 

Saliva? 

I'm a licker.  Other dogs specialize in hunting, herding, retrieval, and so on. I specialize in licking.  I love to lick.  I emit probably two hundred licks a day.  My favorite spot to lick is the area around and including the human nose and mouth.  It is my way of connecting, and of expressing my joy in the world. When my licking is repulsed I feel like I'm being punished.   

So this is going to be a challenge for us. We're going to need to eliminate the cues that start me into my licking spiral, and add new elements to maintain my joie de vivre.  There are many ways to skin a cat [such an unfortunate phrase].  Although licking must be eliminated from my happiness lineup for the time being, I will endeavor to keep this from negatively affecting the quality of my life.  

I might take a page from Dolce, who has gotten into contemplation, eastern religion, inner awareness - that sort of thing.  She has a  favorite meditation spot on the edge of the bluff.  She seems so at peace.  I could try that.

Lamb.i.e in the style of V.G.

    Charlie recently read an academic paper -- A Neural Algorithm of Artistic Style, by Gatys, Ecker, and Bethge -- about the application of deep neural networks using computer vision and pattern recognition to generate artistic images from photographs.    

     Utilizing the algorithm described in that paper, he applied the style of a Van Gogh self-portrait to a photo of me sitting on the sofa this past July.  

    I think I look amazing.

I try to read the tea leaves

    After a brief rain, I walked outside to ponder my recent medical travails and look for a sign about what could be next.  

There was some scary stuff, but also a rainbow,

          
and an amazing sunset.

There could have been a sign there, but what was it?

Bowed but not broken

I had another surgery three days ago.  Two new mast cell tumors, two more incisions on my right side--one at the same site as the August surgery--both cutting into muscle.  

It knocked me out for a bit, but I made haste to return to the activities that bring me happiness.

Back from medical leave

    

A couple of weeks ago I had surgery to remove a mast cell tumor. It hadn't metastasized to key organs, but watchful waiting is the new world order.

   The experience brought me down.  All that poking and prodding. The pain. The anesthesia. The meds. The anxiety.  The Elizabethan collar.

 

    I was miserable.  For a while I lay low and let it all roll over me. 

Finally I rebounded.  On our 'walks' I stopped asking to be carried. I relocated the spring in my step.  Now I pal around with Snoopy, sniffing at this and that. I race down to visit Buggsy and Beverly.

 Sadly, however, Buggsy is actually no longer there to visit:  In July he had a fatal accident. His family misses him a lot -- he was dearly loved.  Below is a photo of him from 2014.  He's the dog on the left, standing next to Beverly and David.

    When I go to their house I still always search for him.  First Beverly gives me a treat, and then I do a check of the house to see if I can find him.

     

Rerooting myself after Ojai

     I got my hair cut soon after I returned from  Ojai.  Certainly, I needed it.  And I wanted to look suave for our July Fourth party. 

On a deeper level, my haircut felt like a bridge from my unkempt Ojai persona back to my more measured Palisades self.  

As part of regaining my connection to that self, I undertook some ritual relaxation in favorite places of my home.

     

Just as I was completing my circuit, who should appear but Sam and Seema.  

I completely relaxed into the sick-dog pose that I favor when I am most deeply at ease.

Fresh air dog

My owner was going to visit her father at his home in New Hampshire, and I was not invited. Instead, I went to spend the week with Aunt Margie and my country cousins, Ella and Leo, in Ojai.

     As would anyone who falls into a roiling sea, I followed my first instinct and jumped onto something that seemed secure -- in this case, Aunt Margie's sofa -- from which I reviewed my new surroundings and companions.

    Being an only dog, and a citified one at that, I was a bit intimidated by Ella and Leo's wild ways.  Yet at the same time I found myself intrigued by their food.  In fact, I refused to eat my own food, while covetously eying Leo's. Meanwhile Leo was interested in my food. It was a classic greener-grass situation, as we both pined for each other's dish.

Aunt Margie couldn't stand the idea that I might starve on her watch.  She cosseted me, tempting me with little morsels of Leo's food and putting my dish next to her while she worked, so that I could eat at close range.

   

That helped.  After we had a Skype session with my beloved, I felt better still.

With the encouragement of my empathetic hostess, I began to venture around the property.

 By my owner's return I had loosened up quite a bit.

  

 

  

Still, any new environment is stressful.  Though I had enjoyed my fresh-air stay among the country folk, it was a relief the day my owner came to pick me up and bring me home to my own sofa and my very wonderful bluffs.